Getting Pants'd

Combine one part flag football, one part tear-away warm up pants, and one part tighty whiteys. Blend. Spread on a college freshman named Brent.

Sit back and enjoy the show; you've just created one of my top 5 embarassing moments.

Honestly I don't know what I was thinking. I'm baffled at my foolishness. Why was I wearing tighty whiteys? I guess they provide more support for sports, but still that's no excuse. Tear away pants when people are grabbing around your waist? Are you serious Brent?

I got what was coming to me.

I went out for a screen pass, caught it, made a pretty good juke move, but the defender lunged to grab my flag, pants, and dignity. Then, without abandon, he yanked it all completely away.

There I was with my tighty whiteys hanging out on one of the main fields on campus, with PLENTY of foot traffic. I dropped to the ground, and hastily tried to put the pants back on, but no success; he had unbuttoned EVERY SINGLE button. So, I haphazardly held the pants in front of me and weaved my way back to my dorm; I don't remember anything after that; my guess is that I hid in my room for a few weeks. :)

Lessons learned:
1) No matter the circumstance -- no tighty whiteys
2) Tear away pants are dangerous

In retrospect though, the story was worth the embarrassment; the juice was worth the squeeze.

Medical Gowns

Since it's covered 100% by my insurance, I decided to schedule a preventative checkup with a doctor. Seems like a good thing to do right? Wrong!

Everything started off smoothly ... medical history, blood pressure, ears, eyes, reflexes, yaddi, yaddi, yadda. That took about 10 minutes, so my doctor, Amanda, asks me if I want to go ahead with a physical since the initial part of the appointment was so short. Might as well I think ... so off we go not knowing the dangerous curves ahead.

Amanda hands me the standard medical gown to wear and tells me that her and the nurse will be back shortly to begin the exam; she steps out. I start undressing ... sweatshirt, shirt, shoes, pants, socks, boxers ... ok, naked now. Time for the gown. I look at it ... think to myself -- "Hmm, what the?"

It seems that these gowns can we worn either way -- either you have the front open with the possibility of tying it together or you leave the back open and let your derriere hang out. I decide to try the latter first. Ok, I got it on, butt's hanging out ... doesn't seem right. Not much going on back there in the exam I hope. Plus it didn't feel like it fit quite right, so I start sliding it off and trying it with the front open planning to tie the front down so I'm not flashing everyone.

Just as I'm switching between position #1 and position #2, there is a light knock at the door and Amanda and her female nurse are halfway in the door. There is a light yelp as they hesitate; I tell them to come in as I hastily wrap the rest of the gown around me. They're going to see everything anyway right?

The rest of the appointment the nurse refused to look at me. Also, Amanda informed me that usually the gown is worn with the back open ... oops, my bad!

Turn head, cough ... cough again. Haha!

I'm sure I was the story of the morning that day at the Doctor's office.