Don't Sweat The Small Stuff ...

I am not an avid reader, but when I do find the time to sit down and get into a book it usually pays dividends.  I enjoy mainly reading non-fiction that helps me live life better, understand something new, inspires me, or is just a great story.  I am that guy who reads Men's Health from cover to cover as well as my car manual and mutual fund prospectuses on occasion.  Fiction can be great too.  Some of my favorite fiction from the past is The Life of Pi, All the Pretty Horses, and Atlas Shrugged (well, didn't finish Atlas Shrugged but it was 1200 pages and ultra-small print!).

I recently finished this book called "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff ...".  It was definitely worthwhile and is something I will keep around and refresh on once in a while.  It's full of short chapters (100 total) with quick life lessons.  I get the impression that the author, who is from the San Francisco area, has done lots of study on Eastern philosophies like Buddhism and Confucianism because a lot of his lessons follow these teachings.

These lessons resonated with me most:

Once a Week, Write a Heartfelt Letter -- I actually started doing this, writing with pen and paper is something I've always been fond of but never consistent with.  I hope my recipients can decipher my semi-legible handwriting!

Practice Random Acts of Kindness -- Kindness is really what makes the World go round.  Everyone can make a difference and the kind act can mean so much to those who both give and receive.  I would be extremely pleased if I can perform one random kind act every day.

Choose Being Kind over Being Right -- This is an area that I often struggle with, but it's something that I am committed to changing.  Being right is usually no fun, and having fun isn't about being right.

Breathe Before You Speak -- Erv, a former manager at Intel, taught me something very similar to this that I still practice.  He taught that you can't control the action, but you can always control your reaction.  Someone can be furious with you but you can choose how to respond, either in anger or in some other way to diffuse the situation.  To me, breathing before you speak is taking that time to fully listen and then considering a response before just letting it fly.

Read Articles and Books with Entirely Different Points of View from Your Own and Try to Learn Something -- Whew, I think finding different viewpoints can be a difficult task to accomplish at times.  But, I definitely see the value in having multiple perspectives on life.  If we view the world around us through only our limited lenses, we are bound to miss a lot.

Develop Your Compassion -- Compassion is an area I know which is not my strongest point, but it is something I have improved upon.  I will continually strive to be more compassionate. For me, being compassionate is about being more open and understanding then relating to others and their unique situation.  Putting myself in others shoes really helps me feel compassion.

Take Up Yoga -- I actually started a weekly yoga class before reading the book.  Flexibility is healthy and I often neglect this part of the workout regimen.  Loosen up hammys!

Transform Your Relationship to Your Problems -- What?  This one caught me by surprise, especially because the chapter title's meaning wasn't obvious.  This chapter instructs that true happiness isn't solving all the problems in one's life but rather acknowledging them and using them as a source of learning and growth.  As someone who strives to achieve near perfection, this is a wise lesson.  Problems and challenges are a part of a fulfilling life and not all of them need to be solved.  Our problems make us unique and can be the source of great growth.  Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team.

Think of What You Have Instead of What You Want -- As a society, we as Americans really struggle with the idea of being content with what we have.  It's easy to lose sight of the great things right in front of us as we look on the horizon for the next big thing.

Fill Your Life with Love -- Yes!

Thank you JD for letting me borrow this book; that's one random act of kindness for you!

The Four Agreements

From an unlikely source I got a great book recommendation. Thanks JD, I didn't know you could read! :)

The book is "The Four Agreements" (TFA) by Don Miguel Ruiz; it is inspired by Toltec wissom passed down through the generations. TFA essentially tries to lay out guiding principles for how to interact with others and how to perceive those interactions. The lessons are applicable to all kinds of relationships, even one's relationship with one's self. Ultimately the goal of book aims to free the individual from crippling self-practices and preconceptions while enabling people to interact without with utmost trust and honesty.

Without further ado, here are the four agreements:

1) Be Impeccable with Your Word -- Basically this means to speak with integrity and mean what you say. It's argued in TFA that words are our most powerful tool; I'd like to think our minds, ideas, and thoughts can be more powerful, but definitely I see the point. We can use our words to spread good or evil and their impact is huge.

2) Don't Take Anything Personally -- You've gotta be strong to not take anything personally. The argument here is that really you shouldn't let others influence your mood with their words, whether they be good or bad. We should know ourselves well enough to know the truth and not let images of our selves be bent by others.

3) Don't Make Assumptions -- When things are unclear, ask questions; clarify! Communication is key here, do not assume something as it could be false and really lead you down the wrong path.

4) Always Do Your Best -- Sometimes your best isn't as good one day as it is another. The important thing is to strive for excellence always. We cannot be perfect and will always have missteps, but we can strive to be better every day.

For any Superman nerds out there like me, I'd say a good Kryptonian is an example of someone who follows the teachings of TFA. Us mere mortals would be doing good to follow the teachings four times out of five. TFA is simply written and straightforward; I read it in less than 2 hours.

I think I do a good job with #1 as I always strive to be honest and straightforward. #2 is tough because to be influenced by others and society seems to be part of the fabric of being human. I really identified with #3 because I think I make assumptions too often without seeking clarification; I plan to get clarification more. I do a good job with #4; I always feel like I'm striving for excellence.

Thoughts?